Every year, my BFF (I’ll call her B) and her crazy family, and me and my crazy family, go on vacation together to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We rent a house for a week and create chaos.
These are the things that make it the best vacation ever.
1. I have three sons, ages 14, 12 and 8. B has 3 sons, ages 14, 12 and 8. We understand each other.
2. I have a labradoodle. B has a labradoodle. The doodles are sisters.
3. The two oldest boys share a room. They call it the fart cave. And yes, it is.
4. The two middle boys share a room. And it is full of dirty socks. And it also smells.
5. The two youngest boys share a room. And it is fully of sticky wrappers and crushed cheez-its.
6. We are very compatible with our beach routines. Up early for a miles long walk along the ocean with the doodles. Followed by copious amounts of coffee. Head to the beach with every tent, chair, toy, cooler, snack and beverage known to man. Plus 6 kids. Set up our mountain of gear, with the drinks cooler placed between our beach chairs.
7. We both follow the same daily schedule. Open cooler. Have beverage. Fall asleep for 15 minutes. Wake up and read a beach worthy novel (B – The Husband’s Secret. Me – The Cake Therapist.) Repeat. From 10 am till about 4pm. Each cycle is about an hour. Around 4pm we head to pool. Sneak in our cooler. Have a refreshing swim. Another beverage. Another nap. Another read.
8. Neither of us are afraid of sharks. We both boogie boarded and swam. We had no need for protection from sharks, unlike these folks.
9. Evening time. Head back to the rental house. Soak in the hot tub with a glass (or three) of wine. Men coral children and decide on dinner. Take out of some sort as the mommies are taking a break from cooking for the week. Woo hoo! Or perhaps a meal out. Crabs with the kids. Though this mommy won’t eat seafood. See the clean spot? That’s where I sat for dinner. Pulled pork on a bun.
10. Every year we enter the sand sculpture contest. First time, we won. We got medals! Next year, no prize. This year, no prize either. In case you can’t tell, this year’s sculpture is a cowboy hat, since we both wear one on the beach. No dice this year either. Though on further reflection, we thought our “hat” should be renamed the “vagina sculpture” because, well, on certain angles….No wonder we didn’t win. We had a couple of funny looks from passers-by.
11. We are both fit. But, let’s face it, we’ve each had 3 kids. I carry a few extra pounds around the middle. Neither of us feels confident in a bikini. But we wore bikinis anyway. Because we were together. Because we could. Because we each have a body and we each have a bikini. Therefore, we have bikini bodies. Together.
12. But most importantly, we can sit together in silence, listen to our boys fart and fight, watch the sister doodles hump each other, accept that our vacation house is full of stink and stickiness and sand, let our husbands make a mess with the morning pancakes, not care what is being put on our plates for dinner, drool a little in our beach chairs during our naps after a few beverages, gaze down at our muffin tops spilling over the tops of our bikinis, smile and not say a word, and just be happy in the company of each other.
Love you B!